Well, I'm about to be a dad. In trying to think about what sort of movies, books and music I want to expose my young daughter to, I couldn't help but fondly remember all the great animated films from my own youth. So I put together a little list of the very best, the ones that stayed with me through the years, some which I go back and enjoy even today. (Note: I made the cut-off 1989, hence the absence of titles like ALADDIN, DUCK TALES: TREASURE OF THE LOST LAMP and BATMAN: MASK OF THE PHANTASM. Also Don Bluth's THE SECRET OF NIMH will be included in my "10 Best Animated Films of All Time" blog, so I haven't included it here.)
10. THE SMURFS AND THE MAGIC FLUTE
"On my last birthday, I turned 542."
"Oh boy! You sure don't look it!"
This one makes me think how smart and ambitious animated features used to be. It could have just been some dopey "Introducing the Smurfs" story, but instead there's this whole gimmick of the magic flute that causes people to dance uncontrollably and, in the hands of Matthew McCreep, terrorizes the entire kingdom. A pretty eerie play on the old Pied Piper story - the influence of the enchanted instrument is equally amusing when Pee Wee uses it on prudes and frightening when McCreep uses it to manipulate people's actions. Being made to dance against your will seems funny until you actually think about it...then it's clearly the scariest idea in the world. The final duel between flutists is enthralling. Johan and Pee Wee being sent to the Smurf world pre-dated Morpheus and his red pill from THE MATRIX. Also the part where Pee Wee eats a big bowl of sloppy vegetable salad always used to make me really hungry.
Interestingly, the Smurfs were based on a regular comic called "Johan and Peewit" by a Belgian artist named Peyo. They turned up as supporting characters in later strips. This film was actually made in Belgium before being dubbed for American audiences. Huh.
Another interesting recent discovery: "In keeping with the original Smurf graphic novels by Peyo, Brainy Smurt is repeatedly hit on the head with a hammer by the other Smurfs to shut him up. This was deemed too violent and too easy to copy by American censors, so in the later Hanna-Barbera cartoon series he is always catapulted out of the village instead." Woah! I guess it WOULD be hard for kids to get hold of a catapult at that... Reminds me of the Fantastic Four cartoon that replaced the Human Torch with Robbie the Robot so kids wouldn't set themselves on fire.
Just a side note on HERE COMES THE LITTLES, another "introducing" feature cartoon that almost made this list: remember how frustrating that movie is? How they keep trying to escape the house only to fail (at least five or six times if I recall), how Henry keeps getting busted by his evil uncle, how many times the lead characters almost die? Scary shit!
9. RACE FOR YOUR LIFE CHARLIE BROWN
"I decided to come to camp, because I've never been much of a person. I thought maybe coming to camp would help me grow up, and maybe make me into a leader. I could use leadership qualities."
"You can say that again, Chuck. You couldn't lead a dog on a leash."
Epic "race" plots were always reliable for a good time at the movies, and this one's no exception. I always liked the rafts used by the boys and girls in this Peanuts adventure, especially Snoopy's sloop/tube that would make anybody want to get up and go river rafting, and despised the three ugly villains and their motor-powered cheater-boat. We've all got a little Charlie Brown in us, a part that truly believes we're born to fail and needs reassurance - that's the part that roots for CB to take command and lead his buddies to victory against the three jerks and their hideous cat. A quality musical score helps this one stand up with the more famous Peanuts holiday shorts. Between the two of them I like this one better than BON VOYAGE CHARLIE BROWN, although the "load of bread" scene from that movie is an undisputed classic.
8. THE SECRET OF THE SWORD
"She fainted! Just like a woman!"
We all acknowledge now that "He-Man and the Masters of the Universe," like every cartoon from the 80's, was a (hugely successful) gimmick to sell action figures to kids. But with smart writers like J Michael Stracynski on board, the stories of Prince Adam and Cringer stood out as above-average meshing of action and fantasy, and the movie that introduced He-Man to his female equivalent appealed to STAR WARS fans familiar with the Luke-Leia-as-siblings twist. But what I like about this one is that it's really two movies in one: we go through the whole Etheria story with Adora realizing that Hordak is evil (how could she not know? look at him!), then there's a bonus adventure in Eternia with Skeletor and Hordak teaming up. A great opening theme song (cleverly incorporating He-Man's classic "by the power" tagline into the lyrics) and some cool (if derivative) new characters make this more than just a two-hour commercial.
Note: SECRET OF THE SWORD was the second official animated feature to be based on a successful toy. The first was...RAGGEDY ANN & ANDY: A MUSICAL ADVENTURE. That's right: my own personal Vietnam, a bad psychedelic trip I've never been able to fully shake off. Just thought it deserved a shout-out on this list. Anyway - one week after this film's release, THE CARE BEAR MOVIE became the third animated feature to be based on a toy. Speaking of which...
7. GI JOE: THE MOVIE
"The crowd ain't the only one goin' bananas!"
I'll be honest, I didn't see the (real) TRANSFORMERS movie in its entirety until high school (although I remember going to see the TRANSFORMERS-GO BOTS feature in the theater when I was little) so I can't include it here. I also determined REVENGE OF COBRA and ARISE SERPENTOR ARISE, which were mini-series rather than features, to be ineligible (the former would certainly have vied for the top slot otherwise.) And while we're being honest, how gay is "Cobra-La?" The idea of these dormant mutants emerging to take over the world with their sticky fungus and writhing tentacles is just weird and creepy, and what happens to Cobra Commander is horribly upsetting. That's why this movie isn't higher on this list. But it's still pretty awesome, from Beachhead's frustrated training of the new recruits (where's my Big Lob figure, Hasbro?) to the introduction of Slaughter's badass Marauders and - of course - the incredible extended theme song opening. Not only beautifully animated and action-packed, that opening may also feature the first deaths in GI Joe history: Gung Ho and Snake Eyes each kill someone, Alpine kills three and Duke appears to blow up potentially hundreds of Cobra troopers when he plants the explosive on the enemy's master ship. Hardcore!
Speaking of Duke, he actually died in the original cut but Scarlet's line "He's dead!" was eventually replaced with "He's gone into a coma!" and the line in the last scene about him being okay was hastily added to make things a little less intense. But uh...it's still pretty intense. Definitely moreso than the recent live action movie, which may not have featured Cobra-La but had plenty of gay shit to go around.
6. THE SWORD IN THE STONE
"It was worth it lad, if you learned something from it."
"Knowledge and wisdom are the real power."
"Right you are!"
There have been lots of attempts at bringing the Arthurian legend to the screen, some good (EXCALIBUR, LANCELOT DU LAC), some pitiful (FIRST KNIGHT, KING ARTHUR.) But I still think this is the best one. From the Golden Age of Disney's hand-drawn animation department, it features a truly likable anthropomorphic critter (Archimedes the owl) which based on the preview this new PRINCESS & THE FROG flick can't claim for itself. Merlin, with his old man flustering and anachronistic references, is one of the most charming Disney animated characters of all time. The story itself is thrilling and effecting: when Wart turns into a squirrel, that subplot is genuinely heartbreaking. When Merlin duels with Madam Mim it's funny - and pretty goddamn story (naturally it's my favorite scene.) Kid audiences learn lessons from the movie (more than they learn from SHREK) and have a great time besides. T.H. White's ONCE AND FUTURE KING, the first third of which served as the movie's source, relates the Arthur tale as a parable of life. This story about being a young nobody and thankful to be treated like crap is the male version of CINDERELLA, and an excellent model for anyone to rise above their station in life and become somebody special. They really don't make them like this anymore.
5. THE CHIPMUNK ADVENTURE
"I need a little culture in my life! The Eiffel Tower, the Sistine Chapel, the Louvre in Rome!"
"The Louvre is in Paris, Alvin."
"You see? I don't even know where the Louvre is!"
Another great "race" movie, and one that I wish parents would show their kids in place of those disgusting-looking live action movies (coming soon: the ruining of the Chipettes!) The characters aren't only gorgeously drawn, they're beautifully realized and absolutely charming. Next to Carmen Sandiego this film was the most geographically informative entertainment from my youth: Egypt, Greece, Antarctica - those crazy Chipmunks go everywhere! Original songs "Off to See the World" and "Diamond Dolls" are just as good as covers like "I Cuanto le Gusta" and "Wooly Bully." The boys' attempt to trick Miss Miller into letting them go to Europe? Hilarious.
Some interesting facts: the same female voice artist performs Theodore and all three Chipettes. Nancy Cartwright, future voice of Bart Simpson and moron Scientologist, played the spoiled Arabian prince. The animation team was picked up cheap after being recently fired from Disney following the failure of THE BLACK CAULDRON.
4. THE HOBBIT
"Surely you don't disbelieve the prophecies because you helped bring them about? You don't really suppose, do you, that all your adventures and escapes were managed by mere luck, just for your sole benefit?"
With the 2-part live action version due sometime around 2011, it's time this Rankin and Bass classic got its due respect. For one thing, it proves that you can fit a Tolkien adaptation into a SINGLE MOVIE! Imagine that! Whereas the Ralph Bakshi LORD OF THE RINGS is an interesting failure (and the duo's subsequent RETURN OF THE KING is better left unmentioned), THE HOBBIT is a true classic. The brilliant voice casting of John Huston as Gandalf, Brother Theodore as Gollum and Richard Boone as Smaug is so inspired you could almost enjoy the audio all by itself. But then that would rob the viewer of the animators' beautiful realization of Tolkien's Middle Earth, the first put on screen and (until Peter Jackson came along) best representation of that world. With visuals inspired by Arthur Rackham's early illustrations from the book and catchy songs that apply lyrics from the book, it's no wonder Rankin/Bass' vision was so faithful to its epic source.
A huge complaint about the DVD release: lots of ambient audio from the original film has been lost. Having grown up with the movie, I notice every shift that's missing sound, every arrow that's no longer released with a satisfying "whish!" It kind of ruins viewing of the movie today, but says a lot for the impact of THE HOBBIT when I was young that I remember it as well as I do.
3. ROBIN HOOD
"Rob? That's a naughty word, we never rob! We just sort of borrow a bit from those who can afford it."
"Borrow? Boy are we in debt!"
ROBIN HOOD is my favorite Disney animated film (well, it's at least tied with ALADDIN.) And even as Ridley Scott and Russell Crowe gear up to bring the umpteenth version of the Sherwood outlaw to the screen, this remains by far the most wholesome and entertaining version. Catchy songs written and performed by Roger "King of the Road" Miller, Peter Ustinov's hilarious performance as Prince John and amazing moments like Lady Kluck playing football against the royal guards and the exciting final prison break are all absolutely iconic in my mind. Not to mention that the love story is absolutely romantic (the song Robin and Marian sing to each other even got an Oscar nomination that year, losing only to a more famous romantic song, "The Way We Were.") Incidentally, if I were Kevin Costner, I would have defended myself by pointing out "Hey - the fox in the Disney cartoon didn't have a British accent!"
2. THE LAST UNICORN
"There are no happy endings because nothing ever really ends."
It's tough being a male and having to admit you're a huge fan of a movie called THE LAST UNICORN. To folks who aren't familiar with the film, it's like saying your favorite 80's cartoon was "My Little Pony" or "Rainbow Bright." "Where's your pink backpack, princess?" is the kind of response one can expect, but seriously this is a brilliant animated film. Rankin and Bass outdid themselves with their adaptation of Peter S Beagle's excellent fantasy about the end of myths and legends and how vulnerable it is just being a human being susceptible to human emotions. America's songs, particularly "Walking Man's Road," are brilliant. In keeping with their all-star voice casting from THE HOBBIT, R & B managed to round up the greatest set of actors ever for an animated movie: Mia Farrow, Alan Arkin, Jeff Bridges, Angela Lansbury, Christopher Lee and of course Brother Theodore.
Speaking of Christopher Lee, here's an amazing clip from German television with him re-dubbing his UNICORN role...in German. How awesome is Christopher Lee??
1. ANIMALYMPICS
"I'm gonna whip him so bad, he's gonna look like his last name sounds! I'm the greatest animal champion of all time!"
Was there ever any doubt? From the director of TRON (that's right!), this NBC-financed production was supposed to be shown in segments during the 1980 Olympics. After the US boycotted the events (and canceled all media coverage) due to USSR involvement, the movie was in limbo for four more years until it premiered on HBO and Showtime. It was eventually released on video and into the hearts and minds of young Americans such as myself. Everything about ANIMALYMICS works, from the great characters (who do you like better, Bolt Jenkins or Dean Wilson? I personally can't get enough of two-time gold medal penguin-gymnast Bruce Kwakimoto) to the fantastic soundtrack by 10cc bassist Graham Gouldman (finding it on LP is still a highlight of my life, as was receiving an official ANIMALYMPICS lunchbox from my wife as a gift.) And the animation is excellent: it's no surprise that the animation crew, including the future directors of FERNGULLY and THE LION KING and the great Brad Bird ("The Simpsons," "Futurama," THE IRON GIANT, THE INCREDIBLES, RATATOUILLE), would go on to such luminous careers.
And I should mention...
WATERSHIP DOWN
The movie that terrified and haunted me for years. Shown in my second grade class, by a teacher who was apparently under the impression that she had rented a cute little cartoon about adorable bunnies, this may not have been the surrealistically chilling experience that RAGGEDY ANN AND ANDY was...but feral rabbits murdering each other when not being preyed on by foxes and wild dogs wasn't exactly my 7-year-old self's idea of a fun time. Of course years later I'd read and fall in love with Richard Adam's book and finally be able to watch the movie again. But if my kid ever expresses interest in WATERSHIP DOWN, I think I'll make sure that she reads the book first...when she's, like, 15 years old.
One more little addition: no comments, just the names of the shows and their opening themes...
THE 10 BEST CARTOON SERIES FROM MY CHILDHOOD
10. "Garfield and Friends"
9. "M.A.S.K."
8. "Kidd Video"
7. "He-Man and the Masters of the Universe"
6. "Voltron: Defender of the Universe" (Syndicated)
5. "Inspector Gadget"
4. "Duck Tales"
3. "GI Joe: A Real American Hero"
2. "The Real Ghostbusters"
1. "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles"
(note: since youtube has removed all videos featuring the actual theme song, this is the European "Teenage Mutant HERO Turtles" theme...basically the same - I guess Europe just didn't understand the concept of "ninjas")
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
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